Monday, May 2, 2011

Orpheus Expansion Pack

The story of Orpheus and Eurydice is a famous one, and it's all due to how extraordinary the story is. Orpheus is a mortal, but his musical talents surpass all among the mortals and rival the gods. In fact, Apollo gave Orpheus the harp (liar-no I'm not lyin...oh, I bet you were waiting all your life just to say that)/lyre because even Apollo acknowledged that Orpheus was the better musician. Orpheus' music could make the trees move and the rocks cry.

In one of his adventures, Orpheus joins Jason and the Argonauts. It seems like Orpheus doesn't really have a role when there are strong men like Hercules present. However, they are men, and among men, there is the Lu Bu (can't help but put a Ravages of Time reference here). Seriously, though, the Argonauts pass by the Sirens and the ship is turned around just so everyone can hear the Sirens' music and die. Orpheus, proud that his music is better, plays his lyre and drowns out the Sirens. And that is how Orpheus saves all those mythological men.
Orpheus' most famous story is about him and Eurydice, his wife. On their wedding day, they got married, but a viper came along and bit Eurydice. She died, and Orpheus fell into a sad state. Now, I am no judge on lost love, but a quote from Ursula K. Le Guin's The Other Wind (not really a quote as much as a generalization) has Ged say that a man and a woman's love for each other is no less than even the love of Segoy and Elfarran. So Orpheus, master of the inanimate objects and summoner of emotions, went down to the Underworld to reclaim his bride. His music makes Cerberus sleep, gives Tantalus a rest from his desires, makes the Furies cry, makes Ixion do something, makes the boulder that always rolls back stop, and so on. All of these were thought impossible, but Orpheus did it.

Finally, Orpheus reaches Hades and, while playing his music probably, begs to have Eurydice back. Using very eloquent words that are nothing short of ass-kissing, Orpheus says that all things live for a short amount of time, and then Hades, the debtor who always gets paid, will always claim their lives. What Orpheus wants is to borrow Eurydice until her time is up. She came down too soon. Of course, Hades allows Eurydice to go back, but on the condition that Orpheus must not look back until they were both out of his domain. And so, Orpheus leads Eurydice all the way towards the entrance. Orpheus steps out, and then looks behind. But Eurydice was not yet out, Eurydice could no longer come back to the living world. And so, the message in this story was that

OBJECTION!!!!!!!!!!

Edgeworth: Well well well, I see that it is a good thing that Mr. Orpheus summoned me here. Here he is, about to have his right taken away by an oversight in the conditions. I say that Hades is at fault!

 Jury: Oh! What's going on?

Edgeworth: Hades knowingly allowed Orpheus to go back with the condition that both are supposed to be out. Very well then. We will accept that point. Then the point of weakness in the conditions is the location!!!

Hades: What do you mean? There is no way that the conditions have any fault. Prove it!

Edgeworth: Very well then. You said that as long as the both got out of the Underworld, you would let Eurydice live. In that case, they both did to that. The Underworld is every part that you have domain over. They both got out of your domain and were nearing the entrance of a cave. Let me ask the jury: A rabbit lives in a hole in the ground, is it in Hades' domain? A bear lives in a cave, the same one that Eurydice and Orpheus came out of. Is the bear still in the Underworld? If no, then Eurydice and Orpheus are free to live their lives together. If not, then let me ask you this question: If those locations are in Hades' domain, does it not intrude upon Father Zeus' domain. If so, then Hades has overstepped his bounds and needs to be punished.

Hades: Miles Edgeworth, I will remember your name. I will await your arrival into the Underworld with joy. You have shamed me and my powers.

Edgeworth: Orpheus will remember the help that I gave him. He will pay me back. His existence in the Underworld will give me protection from your vengeance. No one can resist his music, not even you.

Hades: You did not let me finish, Edgeworth. I already foresaw this. That is why I have summoned a champion who will forever do battle with you. You will never be able to defeat this person in court, and you will never shine while he is alive. And that person will forever haunt you because he is phoenix, the forever reborning one! Phoenix Wright. May he bring shame and humiliation onto you!

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